Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O'Brien

swarms on Japan, obviously but that’s where our bee metaphor breaks down because while bees can sting you they cannot put you in concentration camps (or at least, I haven’t met any bees that can do that). Make sense? THEN YOU MUST BE JAPAN IN THE ’40s. Let’s say you’re having a barbecue but you don’t want to get stung by any bees so you find your local beehive and just go crazy on it with a baseball bat. To put it in perspective, let’s try a metaphor. The attack is very successful but only in a strictly technical sense. * The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.Īnd there's more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.“So Japan is allied with Germany and they’re like “Sweet the rest of the world already hates us let’s take their land!” So they start invading China and Malaysia and the Philippines and just whatever else but then they’re like “Hmm what if America tries to stop us? Ooh! Let’s surprise attack Hawaii!” So that’s exactly what they do.

* The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties.on the corpses of their enemies.

* The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. * Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified.wait, it all makes sense now. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.Īnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.Īll our lives, we've been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality.

Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O'Brien